Friday, February 26, 2021

My loving husband Allen

Around this time of year, I repeat this blog because it's my way of saying ...I miss those happy years.

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Wednesday, April 15, 2020

thoughts from hilda

It was a trying time in our early history when Thomas Paine wrote "These are the times that try men's souls.   He said it exactly right for our world today.

He applied it to the Revolutionary War but we'll apply it to the virus that's striking every conceivable place on our planet.

Number 45 president thinks it's going to be over soon and even first graders know that it's going to be a very long time.   If we take a cake out of the oven to soon, it's unedible.  If we relax our rules today we'll have another big episode.   

I'm very old now but I worry about my children and their children's offspring and how their lives will be affected.

My son Jeff said that everything will go back into place once we're over this hurdle..but I don't know.

Health comes first and then money.   I see my savings spiral downward the same as everybody's and

I think to myself that it took me a lifetime to save this and to live in luxury at Marion Woods Residential Living and leaving some for my children.


But I'm not complaining...I'm grateful for everything I have.

Tuesday, April 14, 2020

Don't Fence me in!

Hello my friends!    I was thinking today of bucket lists and this terrible virus certainly does not qualify.   If we were able to reverse it the entire world would celebrate in their different languages.   Oh how we would rejoice!

We would sing, dance, scream, shout to let the world know that everything's okay.


What happened!   Everything's fine and then all of a sudden..THIS!    Is it spiritual, scientific, or did mankind do something very wrong?

We are all in quarantine.  I live in a retirement community and we wave to one another...and that's it.    Our big dining room remains empty and our meals are served to us in our apartments.  

Outside our front doors we have a big blue clipper attached to the door frame and each day it brings
surprises ...things to keep our minds active...puzzles and word games.  We want to be able to sit at our dining room table once again with interesting conversation. 

Our servers are great.  They're very young and cheerful and our management is trying very hard to occupy our time.

No complaints!    I skype with my friends and family so I still need to comb my hair and put lipstick and earrings on.   And also change my shirt because they'll notice and I don't want them to think I' a slob.

My walls are coated with family and friends pictures, thanks to Donna my daughter in law.

I feel my age.   I walk with a rolator and I need hearing aids for my ears.


I have a Kindle and I use it every day.   It helps me escape

      Thanks for reading...Hilda Gordon a resident.





So for now...thanks for reading.


Wednesday, January 1, 2020


Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Time is an abstract

I'm sitting at my computer, and it's almost midnight....but  for some reason I feel anticipation.   Maybe not eager anticipation...but a feeling that we're entering a new year...and what that will bring.


The world is moving faster than my mind....and maybe Shane knows more than I do already about technology.   It blows my mind what that computer chip can do.


Would I like to go back to the old days when on the back of our school tablets, the alphababet and multiplication tables were listed.


We had no television but we did have wonderful radio with great performers, and we knew all the lyrics.    I couldn't imagine Jeff and Paul getting older and becoming grandparents for Paul, two of the most adorable male babies.  I'm so grateful that Ryan and Eric and Jeff picked wonderful wifes   I'm 90 years old now and on the down side of life...but I'm still curious what has to come. My car is acting up and since our flood I can't use the remote to open the doors and 3 doors only open.


Is it time to hand over my keys or should I get a new used one.   I like the idea of going to a super market when I feel like it.


The greatest thing I have in my life is Skype....and already Shane is growing out of that phase...he sid no more Hilda.   Can't blame my baby...it must seem very strange to him...and then I wear headphones.


All in all....I'm very fortunate.

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

It's been awhile since I've thought about writing a new blog....so okay, here goes.

Jeff and Donna moved to Ocala, Florida and insisted I move here also, although I loved my little villa in Delray Beach.  It's not what it seems though..all of my friends vanished one way or another...either they're in the next life or have moved back north to be with their grown up kids.

They gave me a choice...moving in with them...having them build a little separate house on the back of their property...or moving into a residential retirement home.

I  picked the later...so here I am at Marion Woods with 125 folks who are in the same predicament as me.

It's like a hotel...we get our meals...get to sit with whomever wants us to share our meals with..and have a nice rental apartment. 

I don't know when it happened but I'm now hard of hearing.   I also use a rolator to hold on to because my balance is impaired … and I haven't been to the swimming pool here.

I do read a lot on my Kindle...easy to hold.   I read about a book a day.   Some of it is very entertaining and some just garbage.  

I don't go to bed until midnight but I sleep late in the morning, thanks to my sleeping pills.

The fire department is here everyday...and not because there's a fire.   It's because someone fell down.   I've fallen too but I still can get up.

I have to admit...I'm in the winter of my life and I'm grateful for every day that's granted to me.

Maybe I've painted a bleak picture...but that is not my intention.   I'm happy and I'm content.

It's very expensive to live here...but thanks to Allen my dear husband, I'm able to pay my bills.

There's lots of activity here but I'm not able to participate...I have frozen shoulders although I can still shrug if I'm not thrilled about something.   So far that hasn't happened.

I'm very grateful to my family...I cherish the love that we share.

Tuesday, July 9, 2019

Tuesday, January 24, 2017


My little house
Sunday, October 14, 2012
When my husband Allen and I looked at this B unit in a villa, we kind of fell in love with it. There was a loft....for escape time.
Two bathrooms which seemed an enormous luxury...one bath and two showers. The drawers all pulled out on rollers....a dishwasher and a garbage disposal.
And in the bathroom a special fan to eliminate any unpleasant aromas.
Now we had a nice hallway that led us to our master bedroom...but along those walls, Allen nailed pictures of our family and our lives. When we were young...and as we grew older.
When we bought new furniture, we felt like we were on our second honeymoon, even to buying a wastebasket. Everything was a thrill.
Allen hired a shelf maker for our bedroom closet to put up more rods. Now I have to call someback to lower those rods...cause I simply can't reach them.
I loved our backyard look, a stable with horses...and I can hear them whinny and naaay...and it makes me feel good...like I'm not in a large city but near the farms.
Back to my hallway, there are pictures of my Mother and my Father not together, my Father was already married to Aunt Helen, my mom's sister My Mother died at 41 and my father waited 10 years to remarry, till both my sister and I got married. They had a good long marriage.The people who I see when I stroll up and down my hallways are My cousin Henrietta and her husband Eddy.,my endearing Sister Elayne....and my dear Aunt Rose and my sister in law, and my mother and father in law. Paul and Barbara's wedding pictures...also Jeff and Donna. Lots of Allen at all ages. And, of course, pictures of my grandnephews Eric and Ryan when they were little. Now they're both married and I must hang up pictures of their brides.
My family....
I've made some good friends here..and my biggiest pleasure is our swimming pool, which is also my social life. We all have one thing in common...we're all transports from another place and another time....so we've kind of become each other's extended family.
Everyone there is happy and splashing and splishing and making their arthritis feel better.
Lots of noodles are used too....very colorful. This is our country club.
If anyone wants to visit me, I have a loft, if you can climb the stairs. There's a queen bed, a dresser and a chair...and a radio.
To me...this is paradise and I'm very grateful that Allen brought me here.

Monday, June 10, 2019

My very first poetry--and it stuck

Hi...I was going back in the deep recesses of my old brain when this poem came to mind.

I was in first grade when my teacher Miss Kirpatrick read it to us..and it must have made some kind of impression.

I didn't recall all the words...but thanks to computers...it's in there.

In a way I tried to be like the best child in this poem...I was kind of a goody two-shoes child.

WHICH LOVED BEST? by Joy Allison (1917)

"I love you, Mother, said little John;
Then, forgetting his work, his cap went on.
And he was off to the garden swing,
Leaving his mother the wood to bring.

"I love you, Mother, said rosy Nell,
"I love you better than tongue can tell."
Then she teased and pouted full half the day.
Till her mother was glad when she went to play.

I love you, Mother," said little Fan,
"To-day I'll help you all that I can;
How glad I am that school doesn't keep!"
So she rocked the babe till he fell asleep.

Then stepping softly, she took the broom,
And swept the floor, and dusted the room.
Busy and happy all day was she;
Helpful and happy as a child could be.

"I love you, Mother," again they said,
Three little children going to bed.
How do you think that mother guessed
Which of them really loved her best?

Maybe these words came to mind when I heard an old Christmas Carol "Jolly jolly Santa Clause, lean your ear this way..don't you tell a single soul...what I've got to say...etc.

I guess all thru our lives there lives a Santa although he's called by many different names...sometimes just friend which is a great big word..and I've found out you have to be one to have one.

Sunday, April 14, 2019

ednesday, October 21, 2009

A Broken Heart!

Monday afternoons will always find me at Hagen Ranch School. I work in an after-school program volunteering to help students with homework studies and reading books.

This year I've been working with 2 little girls, Ashley and Giselle, both eager, darling, enthusiastic children.

I can't get either of them out of my mind this week. Gizelle took a 6 by 8 card and pulled a pink marking pen out of her backpack.

I looked to see what she was doing. It was a love letter to both her parents letting them know how much she loves them.

On the bottom of the card she drew two hearts, one for mom and one for dad.

I told her what a nice idea that was. Then this sweet child informed me that her parents had broken up.

I looked at her and I could feel her heartache. This was her way of letting go of some of the emotion that she was feeling. How smart--she put it down on paper...took it home and gave it to her mother. That was also her way of letting me know what happened in her home. She just didn't blurt it out...that was her way of explaining it to me. Poor little girl!

Ashley on the other hand was staring at my face and then she asked how old am I. I laughingly informed her 1000 years old..

She stared and said she didn't believe me. Then she asked again and I told her 47. She, only 6 years old, told me that couldn't be true...her mother is 45 and has no wrinkles.

Then I told her I was much older and she asked why I had wrinkles and she started tracing her little hand up and down my check.

I said don't do that...it makes me feel self-conscious...and she asked what that meant. It means that I don't like the wrinkles but that happens when you get old.

Then....she gave me a big hug...and said she loves my wrinkles.

Before I left I was given a handbook to bring home. The girls asked me if a handbook was a book for hands.

I explained that it's just called a handbook because it's small and fits easily into hands.

They then asked if they could draw their hands in it so that I would keep it forever....and I really will.

I can't get these kids out of my thoughts.....so young and precious! ednesday, October 21, 2009

A Broken Heart!

Monday afternoons will always find me at Hagen Ranch School. I work in an after-school program volunteering to help students with homework studies and reading books.

This year I've been working with 2 little girls, Ashley and Giselle, both eager, darling, enthusiastic children.

I can't get either of them out of my mind this week. Gizelle took a 6 by 8 card and pulled a pink marking pen out of her backpack.

I looked to see what she was doing. It was a love letter to both her parents letting them know how much she loves them.

On the bottom of the card she drew two hearts, one for mom and one for dad.

I told her what a nice idea that was. Then this sweet child informed me that her parents had broken up.

I looked at her and I could feel her heartache. This was her way of letting go of some of the emotion that she was feeling. How smart--she put it down on paper...took it home and gave it to her mother. That was also her way of letting me know what happened in her home. She just didn't blurt it out...that was her way of explaining it to me. Poor little girl!

Ashley on the other hand was staring at my face and then she asked how old am I. I laughingly informed her 1000 years old..

She stared and said she didn't believe me. Then she asked again and I told her 47. She, only 6 years old, told me that couldn't be true...her mother is 45 and has no wrinkles.

Then I told her I was much older and she asked why I had wrinkles and she started tracing her little hand up and down my check.

I said don't do that...it makes me feel self-conscious...and she asked what that meant. It means that I don't like the wrinkles but that happens when you get old.

Then....she gave me a big hug...and said she loves my wrinkles.

Before I left I was given a handbook to bring home. The girls asked me if a handbook was a book for hands.

I explained that it's just called a handbook because it's small and fits easily into hands.

They then asked if they could draw their hands in it so that I would keep it forever....and I really will.

I can't get these kids out of my thoughts.....so young and precious!

Monday, March 11, 2019

Chicken Little

Links to this post


Saturday, June 14, 2008

Chicken Little

How many hundreds of thousands of chickens have we tried to be creative with? I know you're not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition...but now I must concentrate on this chicken thing.

Each country has different cooking styles for this unlucky bird whose main reason for living is to give us eggs and then let us feed on him.

I'll tell you what really disturbs me. When I go to the supermarket and I see their rotisserie with all the chicken, side by side, with their wings at their side, roasting and rotating while their juices flow.

Perhaps I should become a vegetarian!

Dog eat dog world!

Anyhow today I'm in the process of doing something with breasts...not mine...a chicken whose fate is to be not long-lived.

Did he enjoy his little bit of time on earth? Does he have a brain.

I know he has a heart and a liver...but I've never heard of chicken brains. I've heard of cow brains...but what about this unfortunate creature.

Am I spoiling my appetite for what I am about to cook!!!! MAYBE.Links to this post

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Chicken Little

How many hundreds of thousands of chickens have we tried to be creative with? I know you're not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition...but now I must concentrate on this chicken thing.

Each country has different cooking styles for this unlucky bird whose main reason for living is to give us eggs and then let us feed on him.

I'll tell you what really disturbs me. When I go to the supermarket and I see their rotisserie with all the chicken, side by side, with their wings at their side, roasting and rotating while their juices flow.

Perhaps I should become a vegetarian!

Dog eat dog world!

Anyhow today I'm in the process of doing something with breasts...not mine...a chicken whose fate is to be not long-lived.

Did he enjoy his little bit of time on earth? Does he have a brain.

I know he has a heart and a liver...but I've never heard of chicken brains. I've heard of cow brains...but what about this unfortunate creature.

Am I spoiling my appetite for what I am about to cook!!!! MAYBE.Links to this post

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Chicken Little

How many hundreds of thousands of chickens have we tried to be creative with? I know you're not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition...but now I must concentrate on this chicken thing.

Each country has different cooking styles for this unlucky bird whose main reason for living is to give us eggs and then let us feed on him.

I'll tell you what really disturbs me. When I go to the supermarket and I see their rotisserie with all the chicken, side by side, with their wings at their side, roasting and rotating while their juices flow.

Perhaps I should become a vegetarian!

Dog eat dog world!

Anyhow today I'm in the process of doing something with breasts...not mine...a chicken whose fate is to be not long-lived.

Did he enjoy his little bit of time on earth? Does he have a brain.

I know he has a heart and a liver...but I've never heard of chicken brains. I've heard of cow brains...but what about this unfortunate creature.

Am I spoiling my appetite for what I am about to cook!!!! MAYBE.

Saturday, February 23, 2019

My loving husband Allen ...I recall



This was written awhile ago....but it's the anniversary!!









And the Yartseit Candle is lit once again dear Allen!
In Loving Memory!
Allen dear, I recall with the tenderest of thoughts our good life together....and the way it was!


As the Yartseit Candle burns down,,, The flame triggers millions of loving memories!




The candle in the kitchen flickers and dims!
Yes, I lost my partner...my mate....my best friend.
Feb. 28, l990.

I wish he could come back back for just a little while so we could tell him how much we miss him....and love him...but maybe he knows that.

For ten years , a decade, I have lived alone........but my husband is never far from my memories and thoughts....because we shared a life together...children together....although we lost our baby girl to Tay -Sachs disease.

We had 4l years together...most of them happy....some sadness....but that's what living is all about. He was a good kind person who cherished his family..

I look at his picture...and he's smiling at me.
I have the advantage of choosing any image.... making him any age on my dresser....so he's always smiling at me ... 29 years old....and we were newly married.....and our married life was just beginning.

This generation may look at him as controlling. Not me....he just cared so very much about everything I did and thought....and he took such a big interest in my life....and this I adored.....
He even liked to go food and clothes shopping with me....helping me 'pick out'.....and it was fun!
He helped me make decisions!

George Gershwin wrote a song about this..."Someone to Watch Over Me".....and how fortunate I was to find someone to do just that....to make me feel so special..

The Jewish religion has us remember our loved ones on the anniversary of their passing....so I follow tradition...because it's ritual........but I really believe in my heart that it should be lit on our loved ones 'birth date'....to life!.

So....on this solemn occasion.....Jeff and I recall with loving memories this very important person in our lives....who lived according to the Rules.

May Your Soul Rest In Peace Dear Allen....Amen!



And these touching words came from Jeff.

Sunday, October 21, 2018

Friday, October 5, 2018

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

A time for Introspection !

Jewish people all over the world celebrate these High Holidays, Our Days of Awe, and we seriously

try to correct our bad habits that we've developed over the years, and try to discipline ourselves into becoming better human beings.

 So...I'm thinking !    I'm considered an old lady now, although somehow they've changed the pattern and this age is considered about 10 years younger.   I haven't discussed this with an actuary, so I don't know how accurate this is.

I'm trying to figure out what I've accomplished in my life...or if I've rubbed off on anyone to make a difference in their life.    And the answer is plain and simple.....NOT REALLY.

I went to a funeral the other day and one of the mourners stood up and spoke...and it appears that the main things in this man's life was he loved to gamble...and he liked soup....but according to his kids, this  made him a great man.

Would Nixon be considered a superior human being, although he had that one big blemish on his record. 

Could be that we're all flawed and that's what makes us human!

I think maybe we're important only to ourselves and we're all held accountable for every deed.

So...I'll just live with  those thoughts...and  maybe try a little harder.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Sunday, September 30, 2018

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Thursday, May 1, 2008

It's a living breathing thing!

A salamander was running alongside the top of my fence on my patio. I believe I sat about half an hour watching this tiny specimen creature, one of God's creations.

A little red thing would energize every couple of seconds from his throat area and I didn't know if it was his breathing, catching bugs, or a sexual thing.

One thing I do know! It reminded me of how a dynasaur must have looked a billion years ago except a lot diminished in size.

Is this part of the reptile family? Is it a bug? Whatever, he was so cute that I would never dare deliberately take him out of this world. Some people refer to them as geicos...others as lizards.

Little children when they visit from the north want to take them home with them...but I explain that it's a tropical creature.

Some people meditate...others do yoga. Me...I watch salamanders.

Saturday, September 29, 2018

I Have a Little Shadow

Hiding from one's shadow is an impossible task...as hard as  trying to escape from one's thoughts, being as they're not channeled in any particular direction, but floating uncontrollably out into the world, only to be thought by me. 

Shadows and thoughts are a part of us that have  nothing to do with one another, except they're tached to us.   Memories may fade and shadows may alter, but they're always there.   My thoughts have been taking over my subconscious making me aware of how many people used to be an active part of my life.

Little by little, as I age, I'm losing my friendships.  These ladies have moved into retirement homes to be cared for...having  their meals cooked and served to them,  and reminding them to take their medications, and making sure they're using their  walkers, canes or wheel chairs.

My innermost thoughts are always there, swaying  and crawling to a place that only I can reach, and  enhancing  images in my mind that tend to enter and leave at random.....   coming and going on and on!

I can no more control what I'm thinking than I can of breathing.

Was it always this way, or am I just by myself so much that I'm living within my consciousness.

Am I reliving my life to make sure I remember, or these so-called thoughts just keep tumbling out, causing me to have too much time and not enough to occupy me.

Now it's time for me to take charge and get rid of all this foolishness.    Yes, indeed I can, and I will!    I'm enrolling at our Palm Beach Public Library, where they're offering a course helping seniors cast their hand at creative writing.

This way, I can focus on what's really important to keep my memories alive.

 I'll take a few of my blogs to be shown the way to improve my writing so  more people might want to visit my site..

 My blog is about my best friend.   I confide all kinds of quirky things about me in it and I do laugh at my own shortcomings.

My grown-up children have no idea what they created  when they suggested my writing a blog that it would be such an important part of my life.

Friday, May 25, 2018

eplaying in my head!
Hiding from one's shadow is an impossible task...as hard as  trying to escape from one's thoughts, being as they're not channeled in any particular direction, but floating uncontrollably out into the world, only to be thought by me. 

Shadows and thoughts are a part of us that have  nothing to do with one another, except they're attached to us.   Memories may fade and shadows may alter, but they're always there.   My thoughts have been taking over my subconscious making me aware of how many people used to be an active part of my life.

Little by little, as I age, I'm losing my friendships.  These ladies have moved into retirement homes to be cared for...having  their meals cooked and served to them,  and reminding them to take their medications, and making sure they're using their  walkers, canes or wheel chairs.

My innermost thoughts are always there, swaying  and crawling to a place that only I can reach, and  enhancing  images in my mind that tend to enter and leave at random.....   coming and going on and on!

I can no more control what I'm thinking than I can of breathing.

Was it always this way, or am I just by myself so much that I'm living within my consciousness.

Am I reliving my life to make sure I remember, or these so-called thoughts just keep tumbling out, causing me to have too much time and not enough to occupy me.

Now it's time for me to take charge and get rid of all this foolishness.    Yes, indeed I can, and I will!    I'm enrolling at our Palm Beach Public Library, where they're offering a course helping seniors cast their hand at creative writing.

This way, I can focus on what's really important to keep my memories alive.

 I'll take a few of my blogs to be shown the way to improve my writing so  more people might want to visit my site..

 My blog is about my best friend.   I confide all kinds of quirky things about me in it and I do laugh at my own shortcomings.

My grown-up children have no idea what they created  when they suggested my writing a blog that it would be such an important part of my life.

Friday, January 5, 2018

Somebody's wasting their time reading my blogs


May 2010 – January 2018

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