This was written awhile ago....but it's the anniversary!!

And the Yartseit Candle is lit once again dear Allen!
In Loving Memory!
Allen dear, I recall with the tenderest of thoughts our good life together....and the way it was!


As the Yartseit Candle burns down,,, The flame triggers millions of loving memories!




The candle in the kitchen flickers and dims!
Yes, I lost my partner...my mate....my best friend.
Feb. 28, l990.

I wish he could come back back for just a little while so we could tell him how much we miss him....and love him...but maybe he knows that.

For ten years , a decade, I have lived alone........but my husband is never far from my memories and thoughts....because we shared a life together...children together....although we lost our baby girl to Tay -Sachs disease.

We had 4l years together...most of them happy....some sadness....but that's what living is all about. He was a good kind person who cherished his family..

I look at his picture...and he's smiling at me.
I have the advantage of choosing any image.... making him any age on my dresser....so he's always smiling at me ... 29 years old....and we were newly married.....and our married life was just beginning.

This generation may look at him as controlling. Not me....he just cared so very much about everything I did and thought....and he took such a big interest in my life....and this I adored.....
He even liked to go food and clothes shopping with me....helping me 'pick out'.....and it was fun!
He helped me make decisions!

George Gershwin wrote a song about this..."Someone to Watch Over Me".....and how fortunate I was to find someone to do just that....to make me feel so special..

The Jewish religion has us remember our loved ones on the anniversary of their passing....so I follow tradition...because it's ritual........but I really believe in my heart that it should be lit on our loved ones 'birth date'....to life!.

So....on this solemn occasion.....Jeff and I recall with loving memories this very important person in our lives....who lived according to the Rules.

May Your Soul Rest In Peace Dear Allen....Amen!



And these touching words came from Jeff.
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Mom

I REALLY liked your last webpage. I can't speak very eloquently about it, but it moved me deeply. Was it a "cathartic" experience for you at all?



And these wonderful words from Paul and Barbara,
Hi Aunt Hilda,

Its so hard to believe its been 10 years but when someone is always in your heart you don't think about time.You wrote a beautiful tribute to Uncle Allen and the life you shared together. He played such an important role in your life and Jeff's as well as ours. I wish Donna could have gotten to know him. It would have been so special. I loved how he took an interest in you and everyone and how he loved to make sure everyone was happy (like you). I still hear him each evening saying. H can I get you something? Waiting on you or anyone gave him such pleasure.....how happy he was to be in Florida....he was so kind.....thats why you stayed together....your kindness...your gentle way....how you loved children.....and all your love just lives on in Jeff and whether its a Yartseit candle we light once a year...its the fact that its not just once a year we think of him, but always...he is always in our heart.

Thank you for sharing your tribute.


love
bb and bo bo


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And this from my sweet friend Elaine who very recently lost her beloeved hsband.

Dear Hilda, Thank you, thank you for sharing the most beautiful letters I have ever read. You certainly write with so much feeling, I felt as if I could have written your letter to my beloved Bill. I know you are truly a sentimental & compassionate person, and I admire you for being the "lady" you are. I feel fortunate to have met your wonderful Alan, & I know how much he must have loved & admired you too. Hilda dear, may you always remember the good times, good memories and happiness that you & Alan shared. I'm sure he was a Prince among men. Much love, Elaine



Thank you again for another wonderful piece of prose. What lovely beautiful memories you were left with to sustain you.
I hope you have not denied yourself the pleasures that you should enjoy, because your Allan would not approve of that. If you really thought about that, put him in
your place and would you want him to miss out on what is there for him to enjoy.


You have a lot of years ahead of you. Make a few adjustments and try to bring a new beginning into your life as a continuation of the good and happy life you had before.

Thank you for my new lesson. We are leaving right now to go the Morse Geriatric Home as a Volenteers. Will work on it later.
Dear Hilda, I want you to know that I expressed myself the way I did because I consider myself a good friend of yours.


nd from my dear friend Ethel....

That is just beautiful!!!
I'm sorry that Mert and Alan didn't know each other --- I think they
would have liked each other very much ---
I don't get lumps in my throat very often - but you did it, m'dear.
Thank you for sharing.
Glad to know ya... Love you...
ethel





And from my wonderful friends Ruth and Sy..who mean so very much to me!
rfs913@webtv.net (RuthandSyFagan) Date: Sun, Feb 20, 2000, 11:06pm To: hildag1@webtv.net (Hilda Gordon) Subject: Re: And the Yartseit Candle is lit once again!
I'm overwhelmed. What a beautiful tribute. No wonder the comediens didn't make you laugh.






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I can't get over it!

Jeff and Donna have spent months researching pictures that would really be meaningful for me to put on the desktop. Now when I sit at my computer, I can see bits and pieces of my life flashing by and I'm reliving the memories of all the happenings.

I haven't led such a colorful life that would make anyone envious of me...but I've had it good and I've been blessed.

Jeff searched and found pictures of his father and me together reminding me that I once led a very normal and happy life. When Allen passed, my life that was ... disappeared! Gone! A twosome became a one-some and it was all too untimely.

We thought we had a lot of time to spend together here in our little house..but it just wasn't meant to be.

Jeff found a wonderful picture of the 3 of us..Jeff in the middle with his arms around both our shoulders sitting on the sofa.

I do not take these photos lightly...and I respect them every single day...and I'm so glad that Jeff took the time to do this for his mom.

Paul and Barbara when they were here at Chanukah gave me a digital frame...and it too houses pictures that I recall with such love and emotion. It gives me such a joyous feeling seeing all the people that I really care about and that given such meaning to my life.

Thank you, my children, for all that you do for me. I really do appreciate.

Jeff, I know how much work and effort you put into this project..and I just can't get over it.

Sipping my coffee and thinking!

It's hard for me to accept the fact that I'm fortunate enough to live in one of the best spots in our country.

People love to come here during the winter months just to keep warm.

Is this a good thing?? It all depends on what side of the counter you're on.

When we had a business, I would have welcomed them with open arms...maybe ran outside to lure them in.

Now that I'm a customer, it's a whole different situation. I like when they're gone. I like when the roads are empty. I love going to a restaurant and not waiting in line...prices on everything automatically goes up in the winter.

I guess it's called 'supply and demand'.

Am I being selfish? Do I want the sun all to myself? Do I, as the Jefferson's on TV used to say...or do I just want my piece of the pie.

Bottom line is...I wait till Easter and Passover...and then as if by magic...they've flown the coup.

Is this a narrow way of thinking? Yes, definitely, but I get my old Florida back.

I like old books...BUT

If you were asked to choose what book, other than the Bible, what book would you select our candidates were asked.

McCain said "Wealth of Nations" because he's been criticized by many for being wEAK in the economy.

Whatever it was, that 232-year-old book, published in the same year that the 13 colonies declared their independence from England, may not be completely up to date on how “the economy of the nation and the world functions.” The financial system of Smith’s time does not bear much resemblance to the one we are stuck with. If Mr. McCain wants to understand how we got into this mess, there must be more current books that he could consult.

It's interesting that in this time of such technology that he would select such a book. I don't believe I'd like him to make my portfolio decisions. Imagine a major industry in those days had a workforce of maybe l0 for a large company.

Wonder what a blacksmith made in those days.

I find it a little strange and it baffles me..so I'll stay democratic.

What do they expect?????

I have a subscription to Rainberry Bay to see their shows. MOst of them I enjoy. Others I could live without.

It so happens that Stephanie Powers was on the Playbill and I was very excited about seeing her.

I never knew she was a vocalist. Thought she was just an actress.

When she entered the stage, she was just as lovely as I remembered her from Hart to Hart.

Seems like the years just never touched her...forever young!

She was so fantastic and I was thrilled with her selection of music...and she talked about Liz Taylor and Ava Gardner who was Julie in "Showboard".

I couldn't stop applauding...

she brought her own musicians and they didn't drown her out at all.

Two other ladies came with us.

When we got to the rear of the theatre, after the show, I said wasn't she fantastic!

One said she should have been retired and can't sing. The other said maybe if she had a different selection of songs.

What negativism! I couldn't stand it! I didn't speak at all coming home. Actually I kept thinking about it the rest of the evening and early in the morning.

They truly spoiled something for me that was truly one of the highlights of my life.

Go Figure!