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Sunday, June 8, 2014
We're not in control
The growth of our hair reveals no sensation to our bodies. either negative or positive.
The growth of our finger and toe nails are also devoid of any feeling as they grow.
That's how I feel about time.
It just keeps moving forward and we know it, but can't do anything about it. I guess that's what memories are for. I think I've lived my same life over twice remembering all the major happenings in my life. Pledging the Girl Scout oath...or singing and learning all the lyrics to songs from cheap songsheets bought in the 5 and 10. Remembering in detail how I felt when my family told me that my sweet Mother at 41 had died. Or when I heard that my sister at 36 had died.
The growth of our finger and toe nails are also devoid of any feeling as they grow.
That's how I feel about time.
It just keeps moving forward and we know it, but can't do anything about it. I guess that's what memories are for. I think I've lived my same life over twice remembering all the major happenings in my life. Pledging the Girl Scout oath...or singing and learning all the lyrics to songs from cheap songsheets bought in the 5 and 10. Remembering in detail how I felt when my family told me that my sweet Mother at 41 had died. Or when I heard that my sister at 36 had died.
Or when Allen and I heard that our daughter wasn't going to live. These stand out in my mind and I re-live them again and again.
When I received a phone call from Allen's doctor letting me know that he had good news...that my darling had expired. To the doctor, it meant that his comatose patient was no longer in agony.
Many times I would like to put a moment on 'hold' because it's too wonderful to let go....but that's not the way the world is created. When Jeff first said daddy and mama...music to our ears.
Many times I would like to put a moment on 'hold' because it's too wonderful to let go....but that's not the way the world is created. When Jeff first said daddy and mama...music to our ears.
When Jeff rode his bicycle on his own....no training wheels.
When Paul's science project was placed in Pittsburgh's planetarian...how thrilled we all were.
As I grow older every day I try to remember many decades of my life and the people who occupied this planet the same time I do. When I light a 'remembrance candle' it bothers me that I might leave some name out.
I stand in my kitchen and rehearse in my mind all the souls that have enriched my life, and there are many...members of my family and dear friends.
I cherish all these memories because that is what my life is all about. Even my dogs live on in my passwords and they were just precious mutts that I loved dearly.
I'm so very grateful for the time that is allotted to me.
As I grow older every day I try to remember many decades of my life and the people who occupied this planet the same time I do. When I light a 'remembrance candle' it bothers me that I might leave some name out.
I stand in my kitchen and rehearse in my mind all the souls that have enriched my life, and there are many...members of my family and dear friends.
I cherish all these memories because that is what my life is all about. Even my dogs live on in my passwords and they were just precious mutts that I loved dearly.
I'm so very grateful for the time that is allotted to me.
