Tuesday, May 27, 2014

dear friends, my children, my nephews, grandnephews, and other people who have passed through my life.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Grateful for what is

Monday, April 28, 2008

It was like magic!

When we first moved to our little villa here in Florida, my first big amazement was that the drawers in the kitchen and bathroom didn't just pull out...they were on sliders and they were not just effortless...but they just slid!

Then we bought a bedroom suite, including two night stands, a chest of drawers and a triple dresser....and the beauty was all the wonderful sliding drawers.

To this day, I still find it so fantastic.

In New Kensington, Pa., we had drawers that just pulled in and out but had no gliders......I suppose I should say the next joy was owning a dishwasher. Didn't have one before. Nor did we have a garbage disposal. And to do laundry I had to drag the laundry basket up and down the basement stairs.

Here I just move my body a few steps and my beautiful washer and dryer are waiting for me.

And the first thing in the morning the sunlight would beam in and radiate the living room through the cathedral windows...and it was like a million volt bult lighting our house.

We felt like we were living in a little mansion. This is not to say we didn't have a lovely 'other house', but this is kinda more convenient.

I love my little postage stamp of a house. It's really too big for just me. When I waken, I can't seem to remember that I live here all alone.

You would think time would change this but time is like a kaleidoscope always changing ...and abstracions are a place tetween reality and actuality... for a few seconds I need to remember where everyone is. They're not living here...Just me...

I still feel very fortunate and know that I have a good life!

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

How sad for my friend...depression time!

I was at a movie with my girlfriend Jean...and she was reading a telegram delivered to Loretta Young...her lover was killed in the war.
And I couldn't make out the writing
I couldn't read it.   Yes, the doctor confirmed, I was near-sighted and would need glasses.

When I got my glasses, I was so thrilled I could see the individual leaves on a tree...and not just a big green mass.

We sat in double seats in 7th Grade and I was sitting with Rosie Iozzi.   I noticed when I would copy the work from the blackboard, that she would squint and couldn't see...and had failing grades.

I didn't realize at the time that all glasses had a different prescription..so as soon as I copied the work on the board, I would hand over my glasses to her so that she could copy it into her notebook.    Well, amazingly enough, we had a pretty close fit because it worked.

So for the rest of the year, I copied my work and passed my glasses on to her.

We never complained.   After all these years, I'm not sure anything would have been done to alleviate the situation................these were dark depression years when deprived children got free milk.

My Father always worked...we were the lucky ones.   We also had help in our house.    A coalminer's daughter would live at our house and become one of the family. If we went to a movie...she went.     These girls would stay with us until they married and we went to the weddings in a hall....their families were happy to have us because it was one less mouth for them to feed. I think we paid $3.00 a week...that was the going rate.   My mother taught these girls to be good housekeepers.    My sister and I still had to help with the dishes and make our own beds.   We had the 'good life'.

Now that I look back at those bleak years, why oh why didn't I go to the principal or teacher and complain. It never even entered my mind.   I think I have matured since then.

Today...I'm old and smart...and would certainly fight for the social issues of glasses. I look back at those times and I believe that's when I learned about sharing.

I wonder if Rose Iozzzi remembers those days...or if she's even still alive.   I'm a member of United Order of True Sisters and one of the agendas of our budget is to buy eyeglasses for needy children.

The tree in my backyard!

Musings on a dreary day in hurricane season! She sits just like a guest in her own home!

Should be cleaning or straightening up drawers or doing paperwork,

Doing busy stuff.

She can't make up her own mind whether she's just disorganized or plain old-fashioned lazy!

In a portion of her huge bedroom, that also serves as her den, a recliner awaits her elderly body, like an eager loving mother, with both arms extended, inviting her to recline, rock or sit.

She has choices! Once this decision is made.., read a book, turn on tv or fool around with her computer... .another option is open to her... just looking out the window and viewing what the wind gusts are doing to her world. She is drawn to the latter..

Her windows, three glass panes that could bear a washing , reveal a very large tree, probably in the neighborhood Joyce Kilmer had in mind, when he wrote his famous poem, turned song.

Although she lives in High Point, Florida now the day seems 'northerly'... bearing no usual sunshine The branches lush with leaves, but ready to let go, shed green and brown flakes snowlike, reminding her of another time and another place, blowing without direction around her sky.

The wind has taken on a life of its own now shaking all this majesty to the waiting green sandy earth below. blanketing a patch for the crawling red ants to settle, tiny salamanders bearing resemblence to huge dinosaurs of a zillion years ago when the world was young, and all the other critters that travel about. Each busy with whatever naure intended.

The only thing standing staunch and straight is the tree trunk itself, letting the branches know that it's in total control. The weatherbeaten bark showing the wear and tear of its enviroment `is displaying imperfections of algae and age In its imperfections-- there is beauty.

For the 19 years of watching this window scene, never once has she stepped foot to venture out in her backyard. And even though her spiritual philosopy is to "live and let live", she is deadly afraid of ants, snakes and wasps.

During all this activity, the birds sense change and they also flutter here and there, sometimes landing on the window sill where they peck at their own reflection. Her specially- treated windows only reveal what is happening outside.

Inside not a critter can spy on her.

As she still watches all this drama
unfold, she glimses a furry squirrel scurrying up and down the tree, defying all the laws of gravity.

A wristwatch glance makes her aware that she has spent three quarters of an hour, just "looking". And while all this entertainment has been taken place she realizes that she has been "thinking".

The thoughts have run so randomly that it's hard confirming what she was even day dreaming about. Was it the past! Was it the future...or just being, in the here and now.

It doesn't matter al all . Fact is she's found contentment within herself.

She thanks G-d for her Abundance and knows that she has been blessed in life.

At this particular moment...all is well!

Monday, March 25, 2013

taxes

Something that's been bothering me for a long time...and I don't know the answer.

Every year when I renew my property tax insurance, I have to make out the check to Anne Gannon. Now it seems to me I should just write the insurance to tax collector...but not to someone's name.

I've lived here for 22 years and in all that time this has troubled me. And so now...I'm finally addressing this issue.

Wonder how I can figure out this answer??????

When I pay my IRS check, I don't mail it to President Obama...or any one person in the treasury department.

-

Ruth Fagan

Apr 2 (2 days ago)

to me

Yes, I read your blog on taxes. I never thought about it before. Does she have to endorse her name on each check? Too much to think about. - - - -

Another year has passed!

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 2008

This was written awhile ago....but it's the anniversary!!

And the Yartseit Candle is lit once again dear Allen!
In Loving Memory!
Allen dear, I recall with the tenderest of thoughts our good life together....and the way it was!

As the Yartseit Candle burns down,,, The flame triggers millions of loving memories!

The candle in the kitchen flickers and dims!
Yes, I lost my partner...my mate....my best friend.
Feb. 28, l990.

I wish he could come back back for just a little while so we could tell him how much we miss him....and love him...but maybe he knows that.

For ten years , a decade, I have lived alone........but my husband is never far from my memories and thoughts....because we shared a life together...children together....although we lost our baby girl to Tay -Sachs disease.

We had 4l years together...most of them happy....some sadness....but that's what living is all about. He was a good kind person who cherished his family..

I look at his picture...and he's smiling at me.
I have the advantage of choosing any image.... making him any age on my dresser....so he's always smiling at me ... 29 years old....and we were newly married.....and our married life was just beginning.

This generation may look at him as controlling. Not me....he just cared so very much about everything I did and thought....and he took such a big interest in my life....and this I adored.....
He even liked to go food and clothes shopping with me....helping me 'pick out'.....and it was fun!
He helped me make decisions!

George Gershwin wrote a song about this..."Someone to Watch Over Me".....and how fortunate I was to find someone to do just that....to make me feel so special..

The Jewish religion has us remember our loved ones on the anniversary of their passing....so I follow tradition...because it's ritual........but I really believe in my heart that it should be lit on our loved ones 'birth date'....to life!.

So....on this solemn occasion.....Jeff and I recall with loving memories this very important person in our lives....who lived according to the Rules.

May Your Soul Rest In Peace Dear Allen....Amen!

And these touching words came from Jeff.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Mom

I REALLY liked your last webpage. I can't speak very eloquently about it, but it moved me deeply. Was it a "cathartic" experience for you at all?

And these wonderful words from Paul and Barbara,
Hi Aunt Hilda,

Its so hard to believe its been 10 years but when someone is always in your heart you don't think about time.You wrote a beautiful tribute to Uncle Allen and the life you shared together. He played such an important role in your life and Jeff's as well as ours. I wish Donna could have gotten to know him. It would have been so special. I loved how he took an interest in you and everyone and how he loved to make sure everyone was happy (like you). I still hear him each evening saying. H can I get you something? Waiting on you or anyone gave him such pleasure.....how happy he was to be in Florida....he was so kind.....thats why you stayed together....your kindness...your gentle way....how you loved children.....and all your love just lives on in Jeff and whether its a Yartseit candle we light once a year...its the fact that its not just once a year we think of him, but always...he is always in our heart.

Thank you for sharing your tribute.

love
bb and bo bo

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
And this from my sweet friend Elaine who very recently lost her beloeved hsband.

Dear Hilda, Thank you, thank you for sharing the most beautiful letters I have ever read. You certainly write with so much feeling, I felt as if I could have written your letter to my beloved Bill. I know you are truly a sentimental & compassionate person, and I admire you for being the "lady" you are. I feel fortunate to have met your wonderful Alan, & I know how much he must have loved & admired you too. Hilda dear, may you always remember the good times, good memories and happiness that you & Alan shared. I'm sure he was a Prince among men. Much love, Elaine

Thank you again for another wonderful piece of prose. What lovely beautiful memories you were left with to sustain you.
I hope you have not denied yourself the pleasures that you should enjoy, because your Allan would not approve of that. If you really thought about that, put him in
your place and would you want him to miss out on what is there for him to enjoy.

You have a lot of years ahead of you. Make a few adjustments and try to bring a new beginning into your life as a continuation of the good and happy life you had before.

Thank you for my new lesson. We are leaving right now to go the Morse Geriatric Home as a Volenteers. Will work on it later.
Dear Hilda, I want you to know that I expressed myself the way I did because I consider myself a good friend of yours.

nd from my dear friend Ethel....

That is just beautiful!!!
I'm sorry that Mert and Alan didn't know each other --- I think they
would have liked each other very much ---
I don't get lumps in my throat very often - but you did it, m'dear.
Thank you for sharing.
Glad to know ya... Love you...
ethel

And from my wonderful friends Ruth and Sy..who mean so very much to me!
rfs913@webtv.net (RuthandSyFagan) Date: Sun, Feb 20, 2000, 11:06pm To: hildag1@webtv.net (Hilda Gordon) Subject: Re: And the Yartseit Candle is lit once again!
I'm overwhelmed. What a beautiful tribute. No wonder the comediens didn't make you laugh.

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1 comment:

virginia said...: what a lovely tribute,,,,such deep and abiding love you have for him,,,,

this would be a better world if we all could have found what you and he had together

i regret that i never knew you as a couple so i could see what a good relationship really was

thank you for sharing this with me who (as you well know) has lost my faith in these kinds of things; February 19, 2008 at 10:11 AM