My darling Husband Allen!

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 2008

This was written awhile ago....but it's the anniversary!!

And the Yartseit Candle is lit once again dear Allen!
In Loving Memory!
Allen dear, I recall with the tenderest of thoughts our good life together....and the way it was!


As the Yartseit Candle burns down,,, The flame triggers millions of loving memories!




The candle in the kitchen flickers and dims!
Yes, I lost my partner...my mate....my best friend.
Feb. 28, l990.

I wish he could come back back for just a little while so we could tell him how much we miss him....and love him...but maybe he knows that.

For ten years , a decade, I have lived alone........but my husband is never far from my memories and thoughts....because we shared a life together...children together....although we lost our baby girl to Tay -Sachs disease.

We had 4l years together...most of them happy....some sadness....but that's what living is all about. He was a good kind person who cherished his family..

I look at his picture...and he's smiling at me.
I have the advantage of choosing any image.... making him any age on my dresser....so he's always smiling at me ... 29 years old....and we were newly married.....and our married life was just beginning.

This generation may look at him as controlling. Not me....he just cared so very much about everything I did and thought....and he took such a big interest in my life....and this I adored.....
He even liked to go food and clothes shopping with me....helping me 'pick out'.....and it was fun!
He helped me make decisions!

George Gershwin wrote a song about this..."Someone to Watch Over Me".....and how fortunate I was to find someone to do just that....to make me feel so special..

The Jewish religion has us remember our loved ones on the anniversary of their passing....so I follow tradition...because it's ritual........but I really believe in my heart that it should be lit on our loved ones 'birth date'....to life!.

So....on this solemn occasion.....Jeff and I recall with loving memories this very important person in our lives....who lived according to the Rules.

May Your Soul Rest In Peace Dear Allen....Amen!



And these touching words came from Jeff.
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Mom

I REALLY liked your last webpage. I can't speak very eloquently about it, but it moved me deeply. Was it a "cathartic" experience for you at all?



And these wonderful words from Paul and Barbara,
Hi Aunt Hilda,

Its so hard to believe its been 10 years but when someone is always in your heart you don't think about time.You wrote a beautiful tribute to Uncle Allen and the life you shared together. He played such an important role in your life and Jeff's as well as ours. I wish Donna could have gotten to know him. It would have been so special. I loved how he took an interest in you and everyone and how he loved to make sure everyone was happy (like you). I still hear him each evening saying. H can I get you something? Waiting on you or anyone gave him such pleasure.....how happy he was to be in Florida....he was so kind.....thats why you stayed together....your kindness...your gentle way....how you loved children.....and all your love just lives on in Jeff and whether its a Yartseit candle we light once a year...its the fact that its not just once a year we think of him, but always...he is always in our heart.

Thank you for sharing your tribute.


love
bb and bo bo


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
And this from my sweet friend Elaine who very recently lost her beloeved hsband.

Dear Hilda, Thank you, thank you for sharing the most beautiful letters I have ever read. You certainly write with so much feeling, I felt as if I could have written your letter to my beloved Bill. I know you are truly a sentimental & compassionate person, and I admire you for being the "lady" you are. I feel fortunate to have met your wonderful Alan, & I know how much he must have loved & admired you too. Hilda dear, may you always remember the good times, good memories and happiness that you & Alan shared. I'm sure he was a Prince among men. Much love, Elaine



Thank you again for another wonderful piece of prose. What lovely beautiful memories you were left with to sustain you.
I hope you have not denied yourself the pleasures that you should enjoy, because your Allan would not approve of that. If you really thought about that, put him in
your place and would you want him to miss out on what is there for him to enjoy.


You have a lot of years ahead of you. Make a few adjustments and try to bring a new beginning into your life as a continuation of the good and happy life you had before.

Thank you for my new lesson. We are leaving right now to go the Morse Geriatric Home as a Volenteers. Will work on it later.
Dear Hilda, I want you to know that I expressed myself the way I did because I consider myself a good friend of yours.


nd from my dear friend Ethel....

That is just beautiful!!!
I'm sorry that Mert and Alan didn't know each other --- I think they
would have liked each other very much ---
I don't get lumps in my throat very often - but you did it, m'dear.
Thank you for sharing.
Glad to know ya... Love you...
ethel





And from my wonderful friends Ruth and Sy..who mean so very much to me!
rfs913@webtv.net (RuthandSyFagan) Date: Sun, Feb 20, 2000, 11:06pm To: hildag1@webtv.net (Hilda Gordon) Subject: Re: And the Yartseit Candle is lit once again!
I'm overwhelmed. What a beautiful tribute. No wonder the comediens didn't make you laugh.






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The Aftermath

The rains purified our air but left our cars saturated all the way down soaking the carpeting with layers of water.

If you walked on our street today, you would see car after car with open doors and trunk...and mats hanging on our fences.

We're trying to dry out.    The insurance people tell us that it will cost $2,000 to remove the seats and dry the underparts.

Now my dilemma is my car is 14 years old.   Should I fix what I have or should I lease a car.

I'm getting much older and probably won't be driving in a couple of years.

So...advice people....help me think?????? 

Better than mounds of snow!

While the rest of our country is defrosting, we're de-flooding.   The friendly skies opened wide and torrential rains took the normal  route of gravity and released itself into pouring rain that turned into a loud thunderstorm.

While all this was happening, I pulled the covers around me in my bed  cocoon-fashion and drifted off to sleep.

Glancing out my window the following day, I couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing.

A lake covering our entire cul-de-sac.  I looked at my car and most of the tires were drenched in water.

My mind found it hard to take this all in.  You could row a boat down our street.   A person could go swimming.    This could be Venice with gondolas.    Our sewer could not absorb all that water...this is Florida and we have to rely on other means.

Turning on my TV, the only programming being aired was about all the flooding and warnings to stay home.   People were using their digital cameras and sending them to the anchor people and this is the destruction that I saw.

When I used my bathroom, the water overflowed onto the floor waiting for me to sop it up.    Today the sun is shining brightly and there's a nice breeze.

The difference a day makes!

Not until early evening did I realize that our car floors were sopping wet with about 2 inches of water and the car door opener wouldn't respond.

However, I turned the engine on and lo and behold...it ran.

Today is another day and the guy who regularly cleans my car is outside now wet-vacuuming it and trying to dry it out.

I'm concerned now that it might have a mildew smell and that's almost impossible to get rid of. 

It could always be worse!

THIS IS A COMMENT

Ron Troke shared your blog post on Google+ Wow Hilda....this is an amazing story....Mother NAture really is trying our patience this year. The storms are very where even in freezing Canada. I'm Sophie Doodle's Dad and so happy to meet you. Take care...stay dry!

When in doubt...throw out!

ursday, July 17, 2008

My old telephone directory!

One of the last things I packed when we moved to Florida was the telephone book. I might need it!

Well, it's been 20 years now and my life has changed a lot and so has the info in the phone book. Two decades of decayed and yellowed pages of the people I once had daily interchange with.

Now it's a phone call and Christmas cards...and as the years melt into one another...it seems like light years away.

I believe I have grown in ways since we left. In other ways we were important people in our town especially to little boys and girls who wanted toys.

I don't need this book any longer. I can get all this information on my computer in a second.........anybody's number and address.

Progress has intervened and I just love it.

Why am I having qualms about ditching it. It's one of the last things I have left from New Kensington, Pa. other than my memories.

After my father moved to Florida, he would go over all the businesses in the downtown area...and he recalled them all. I didn't realize it then, but it was a memory test of his.

Now I find myself doing exactly the same thing....just thinking and remembering. It wasn't all that beautiful or great...but it was where I grew up...my childhood....my young married life.

Now I'm donating it to solid waste management...maybe it can be recyled into more paper...maybe it can enter this century.

I'm letting go.......

Going to Virginia with Virginia

Thoughts from Hilda

These are my thoughts, during average days of my life. They're probably not of any interest to anyone other than my dear friends, my children, my nephews, grandnephews, and other people who have passed through my life.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Virginia visits my kids with me!

When Virginia and I boarded a plane to Washington D.C., Dulles Airport, my kids and V insisted I use a wheel chair...so it was waiting for me when we passed over our boarding passes...and from then on, I was being ushered while my poor friend had to practically run to keep up...and I felt so embarrassed.   I could not get used to this at all.  I felt like I was in Atlantic City being wheeled by an elderly man in a rickshaw.

Then it's time for our security check...V wore socks so she wouldn't get germs from their floor...stupid me, I never thought of that...and besides I couldn't get through right away because I was buzzing.  Yes, I had a metal lipstick tube in my pocket.  I felt like an idiot

We arrived our usual 2 hours early and both of us started reading..but I think  our attentions were on the people who were coming and going.  No recession in this airport.  The younger folks waiting all had computers and they were busily working.   Others were texting or having breakfast.

We finally went over to Checker's and Virginia said she just had to have their french fries.  It was a different kind of meal than I would have eaten at that hour, but I ordered the same thing.   Oh were those ever delicious.  I nibbled at every crumb...I was right to follow her lead.  She said they're famous for that.   What do I know???

Bob and Arlene had taken us to the airport and schlepped our baggage out of their trunk of which I was very grateful.

Anyway, finally we boarded first because I had reserved a wheel chair and I feel like I'm cheating because I'm not really handicapped.

Right before we take off I glance over at Virginia and I notice that she's praying...and again I feel guilty, like I'm riding her shirttails...using her prayer to deliver me safely.

Her prayers were definitely answered because not only did we have a safe journey...but a very pleasant one with Jeff and Donna who met us in the airport with great big smiles and lots of hugs.

What better service...I ask you!

My little house

Sunday, October 14, 2012

When my husband Allen and I looked at this B unit in a villa, we kind of fell in love with it.    There was a loft....for escape time.

Two bathrooms which seemed an enormous luxury...one bath and two showers.   The drawers all pulled out on rollers....a dishwasher and a garbage disposal.

And in the bathroom a special fan to eliminate any unpleasant aromas.

Now we had a nice hallway that led us to our master bedroom...but along those walls,  Allen nailed pictures of our family and our lives.    When we were young...and as we grew older.

When we bought new furniture, we felt like we were on our second honeymoon, even to buying a wastebasket.    Everything was a thrill.

Allen hired a shelf maker for  our bedroom closet to put up more rods.   Now I have to call someback to lower those rods...cause I simply can't reach them.

I loved our backyard look, a stable with horses...and I can hear them whinny and naaay...and it makes me feel good...like I'm not in a large city but near the farms.

Back to my hallway, there are pictures of my Mother and my Father not together, my Father was already married to Aunt Helen, my mom's sister  My Mother died at 41 and my father waited 10 years to remarry, till both my sister and I got married.   They had a good long marriage.The people who I see when I stroll up and down my hallways are My cousin Henrietta and her husband Eddy.,my endearing Sister Elayne....and my dear Aunt Rose and my sister in law, and my mother and father in law.  Paul and Barbara's wedding pictures...also Jeff and Donna.   Lots of Allen at all ages.   And, of course, pictures of my grandnephews Eric and Ryan when they were little.   Now they're both married and I must hang up pictures of their brides.

My family....

I've made some good friends here..and my biggiest pleasure  is our swimming pool, which is also my social life.  We all have one thing in common...we're all transports from another place and another time....so we've kind of become each other's extended family.

Everyone there is happy and splashing and splishing and making their arthritis feel better.

Lots of noodles are used too....very colorful.   This is our country club.

If anyone wants to visit me, I have a loft, if you can climb the stairs.   There's a queen bed, a dresser and a chair...and a radio.

To me...this is paradise and I'm very grateful that Allen brought me here.

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There's a ps to this story.   I have trouble climbing the steps to my loft, so that is reserved for my guests.

The newest little guest Shane slept in the living room in a fold and play bed .

Just random thoughts

Do we have a gland that makes us feel enthusiastic?   I ask myself this because this part of me  seems to be out of commission.

I felt bubbly a few weeks ago  when baby Shane and his mother and father were here, and then it kind of did a disappearing act.

So...I gotta activate it...and I'll do it right now and here writing this blog.

I'm in my own little home, boss of my own domain.   I'm able to pay all my bills without fretting and saying oy vey.

I don't flinch in a restaurant when my friends order much more than me...I'm the one who argues that we have to split the bill.   And I'm always anxious to leave a nice tip.

After having read the book Nickel and Dimed, I learned much about living lean.   I'm not wealthy by any means...but I'm old and the years will probably run out before my money.

And should I run out, I'll just have to go to the poorhouse where Charles Dicken's wrote about.

I think what I really need is a 'pool fix'.   Haven't been swimming in a month because even in Florida we have seasons.

And I'm not complaining because the 'complaint department' is closed and locked up till the rest of the nation defrosts.

In 2 weeks I'm going on a 5 day cruise and maybe I just have to get away from the farm for awhile...talk to new people.   That I find enjoyable.

So...people...wherever you are....here I am!

Geography!

While half of our country is shivering, I have my fans spinning in my ceiling because I enjoy fresh air circulating.   How fortunate I am living in Florida, a sub-tropical zone, where it's never really bitter.

I turn on the weather channel and broadcasters in different parts of our country are explaining in great detail how it's even going to get colder.  They're dressed for really cold..cold..with knitted caps, scarves, and gloves.

Some of the newscasters like to look like they can brave this weather, so they come dressed just in an overcoat or jacket...but I just know they're shivering as they're speaking.

I have nothing in the world to complain about, no slush, no ice, no cold !

  The sun is shining brightly, although it doesn't have a lot of strength, but just seeing it makes me happy.

I wish I could invite the world to join me here in Florida to get warm and drink some of the sweet juices from our honeybell oranges that last such a short time but does not diminish the flavor.  It takes no effort to fill a glass with minimal effort, just a delicate squeeze and you drink it down.

I like to sip mine so that I can enjoy the flavor longer.

So you all come down now...you hear!

Music that highlights the Holiday Season

My musical senses tend to heighten when I listen to PBS this Christmas time of the year.   Melodies I've heard played over the years bring joy once again into my life as I lovingly recall this group playing and singing the sweet strains of familiar lyrics, digging deep into the recesses of feelings buried deep within my heart...American Folk Music..

Although she's not with us any longer, I just watched a nostalgic rerun of Peter, Paul and Mary singing one of their very favorites and mine too...Puff the Magic Dragon.  Most of their music had a distinct message of human kindness and giving....and causes, not just empty words.

This trio used to glue our little family together as we watched the two guitarists singing, playing along with Mary who was tall and stately...as the years passed, she got heavier and bigger but her voice never changed, nor did her smile.

In the decades prior to the '60s, through the work of such avatars as Woody Guthrie, the Weavers and Pete Seeger, folk music had become identified with sociopolitical commentary, but the idiom had been forced underground in the Senator Joe McCarthy witch-hunting era of the late '50s. By the time Peter, Paul and Mary arrived on the scene, for the majority of America, folk was viewed merely as a side-bar to pop music which employed acoustic instruments. At this critical historic juncture, with the nation still recovering from the McCarthy era, the Civil Rights Movement taking shape, the Cold War heating up and a nascent spirit of activism in the air, Peter Yarrow, Noel (Paul) Stookey and Mary Travers came together to juxtapose these cross currents and thus to reclaim folk's potency as a social, cultural and political force. But few at the time could have realized how fervently and pervasively the group's message of humanity, hope and activism would be embraced. Having their music associated with causes and solutions is as natural as breathing for Peter, Paul and Mary. The music they purvey and the action it generates are equally important to them and lie at the heart of their story. Most recently, their individual and collective efforts have focused on such crucial issues as gun violence against children, the rights and organizing efforts of strawberry pickers in California, homelessness and world hunger. "We've always been involved with issues that deal with the fundamental human rights of people, whether that means the right to political freedom or the right to breathe air that's clean," Travers points out. No American folk group has lasted longer or amassed a more loyal following than Peter, Paul and Mary

They invited the listening audience to sing along with them...and I DID.

Great fantastic memories to cling to.

Paul Burger and the Wizard of Oz

Thoughts from Hilda

These are my thoughts, during average days of my life. They're probably not of any interest to anyone other than my dear friends, my children, my nephews, grandnephews, and other people who have passed through my life.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

If I was on the debate team, I would simplify things a lot.   I would say...folks, none of us really knows how much a trillions dollars is...not even a billion....but maybe, just maybe if we brought it down to millions, we could kind of relate to it.

We could really understand what the two candidates are talking about...because right now, it's going over most of our heads.

We think in dollars..and not even cents anymore.   And why do we need to borrow from China...can't we just add  more gold mints in Fort Knox, Kentucky.    Everybody I know owns something that is gold...so why such a big attraction to it.

What we all do know...and we were all taught in the most basic way that you can't spend more money than you have.

And that is what our country is doing.   So Countrymen...stop it!!!!!!!   Stay within your budget, that is if we can ever get back on track.

I guess that's why nobody has asked me to debate!

This is a P.S. on information I received from Paul my nephew about gold and the Wizard of Oz.

Editor's Note: Here is the extraordinary story behind the extraordinary story of'TheWonderfulWizard of Oz'.  Most of us have seen the movie version of this allegorical tale, but few of us are aware of what the various characters, places and things represented in the mind of Frank Baum, the tale's author. Professor Quentin Taylor of Rogers State University invitingly titles the piece presented below 'Money and Politics in the Land of Oz'.  Though 'The Wonderful Wizard of Oz' was written over 100 years ago, the themes will be recongizable to those with an interest in golden matters. While many today consider gold an instrument of financial and personal freedom, in Baum's tale, it is painted as a villain -- the tool of oppression. So, as you are about to see, we have come full circle, and gold has travelled a yellow brick road of its own

My precious little guy

:

 The youngest of our generation came to visit for 3 days, along with his mom and dad, Becky and Eric, both carved out for parenthood..
 

This new little soul, just 9 months old, already exhibits such charm, personality and lovableness that I fell uncontrollably in love with him on sight.
 

Skype is great, but this was the real thing.  This precious  little being was holding my hand, smiling,  and I watched as his whole face turned into a beautiful smile which lit up his entire face and room in fact.  Happiness seeped into me as I stared at baby Shane.
 

Through darling Shane's eyes, he sees a world that is so new to him he's totally focused on everyone, and I feel sure that these sights and smells  find a place in his tiny brain that buries itself  in many compartments of his mind.
  He drinks it all in.
 

No exhibition of crying on his part, only the most pleasantness of smiles in his still toothless mouth that is eager to taste all foods, and many to his liking.   He lets us know by eagerly opening his mouth for the next bite.

Small bites of various food  assortments are placed on his high chair tray as we watch anxiously for the expression on his face as he samples each  morsel.    Almost like feeding a little bird seeds as he takes one by one.
 

I am the great grand aunt of Shane and he follows us around like a little puppy.   As he crawls along the floor, his little tushie moves back and forth and he either gently  lowers himself to the floor again  or he will find a piece of furniture to stand and hold onto.
 

His language of cooing is very understandable.  His parents know exactly what he craves.   He definitely communicates.  When he's had his fill of food, he takes his little hand and bangs on the table....reminding me of Krushav when he came to visit from Russia.
 

I live in South Florida where there's an abundance of senior citizens.   When we took Shane to a restaurant, everyone made a big fuss over him.  Not a person passed by who didn't smile, and that made me feel so good.  They were delighted to see a very young face.
 

I know I'm bragging but Shane was such a model diner, sitting in his highchair and being grateful for any bits of food his parents thought he could handle at this age.

I was amazed at his good manners because I've been in restaurants where screaming children were intolerable.
 

Playtime for this little fellow  is holding his blocks in two hands, stacking them  and then knocking them down again and we all applaud.
 

 But most of all, he's happiest when his  mother takes out his books, right before he goes to sleep at night and reads to him.  She puts him in a quiet sleep mode.

 He sits so still listening and looking at the pages.  Becky also acts them out...hot and cold...loud and soft...in and out....big  and small..and baby Shane listens and looks,  and I know he's absorbing.
 

Eric worries constantly that he might not be getting enough nourishment  because he's so tiny, but he needn't be concerned because this baby lets you know exactly what he wants.

Their visit is over!   Now I am left with wonderful thoughts and memories...and these I will always cherish!
 

Thank you, my grandchildren of my sister, for visiting.   If there is a heaven, I'm sure that my sister Elayne and  her husband Leonard, were watching and enjoying with me

Nature letting us know who's in charge!

 

Friday, September 11, 2009

Cutting back before a hurricane! Sounds  alerted me to something going on in my backyard.

I peeked through my verticals anxious to see what was happening and  I watched. 

  It wasn't just entertainment!  Three treemen ,  working very hard,  hacking at my tree that was 20 times higher than they were tall.

It was a 'happening' all right. The 'tree clipper people' were outside my window  with a large saw  cutting down a  huge branch of a gigantic  tree in my backyard that must have been young about 50 years ago.  I could tell by the markings on the trunk that it went through many seasons even if this is Florida..

Now this wasn't just any branch. It was part of the tree...but almost as big as the tree trunk itself...and should there be torrential rains and wildly gusting winds, this could find its way right through my window.
So interesting to watch. They worked very hard with not a movement being wasted.

  These men, who could speak no English, were in complete control of chopping my tree in the event of a hurricane.

 I remembered my camera sitting on top of my desk...and this is the picture  I captured  through my  window.  In spite of  the black bars, I was able to put into focus, these eager Haitian workmen.

 Our condo being  alert to our weather predictions  gives me a feeling of  protectiveness.

  In the meantime, I've stocked up on all kinds of boxed and tinned  foods and  know I would be able to  survive a month without starving, even having company over who didn't think ahead to bother shopping.  I was like a little chipmunk storing all kinds of goodies.

Most of all I detested the night when it was pitchblack and I would sing...

'hello darkness my old friend...I've come to be with you again

 I own one of the first hand held transistor radios, and amazingly it still plays.  What a gadget.   This little radio is over 30 years old and requires one 9 volt battery and is the best company I could want.

   This is how I occupied myself, listening to people call in to the "talk shows", which gave me a feeling of being  part of the world.   Each caller had a different story to tell.

  Some callers  would say they're stuck in a 6 story condo and the elevators, of course, weren't working, and what should they do...how could they get help.   They needed their medications.   I became very involved in the outside world, unable to do anything but listen and hope they would be able to get some help.

Then I'd go into a troubled sleep...but the very next morning...the sun was brightly shining...and all was right with the world.

Replaying in my head!

Hiding from one's shadow is an impossible task...as hard as  trying to escape from one's thoughts, being as they're not channeled in any particular direction, but floating uncontrollably out into the world, only to be thought by me. 

Shadows and thoughts are a part of us that have  nothing to do with one another, except they're attached to us.   Memories may fade and shadows may alter, but they're always there.   My thoughts have been taking over my subconscious making me aware of how many people used to be an active part of my life.

Little by little, as I age, I'm losing my friendships.  These ladies have moved into retirement homes to be cared for...having  their meals cooked and served to them,  and reminding them to take their medications, and making sure they're using their  walkers, canes or wheel chairs.

My innermost thoughts are always there, swaying  and crawling to a place that only I can reach, and  enhancing  images in my mind that tend to enter and leave at random.....   coming and going on and on!

I can no more control what I'm thinking than I can of breathing.

Was it always this way, or am I just by myself so much that I'm living within my consciousness.

Am I reliving my life to make sure I remember, or these so-called thoughts just keep tumbling out, causing me to have too much time and not enough to occupy me.

Now it's time for me to take charge and get rid of all this foolishness.    Yes, indeed I can, and I will!    I'm enrolling at our Palm Beach Public Library, where they're offering a course helping seniors cast their hand at creative writing.

This way, I can focus on what's really important to keep my memories alive.

 I'll take a few of my blogs to be shown the way to improve my writing so  more people might want to visit my site..

 My blog is about my best friend.   I confide all kinds of quirky things about me in it and I do laugh at my own shortcomings.

My grown-up children have no idea what they created  when they suggested my writing a blog that it would be such an important part of my life.

Ann Marie and Joe

Friday, January 11, 2013

Fine Dining

Lovely experience last night.   I was invited to Annmarie and Joe P's house for dinner and they live fairly close, so I walked over for a little exercise.

Joe greeted me on the street entering his house which was very hospitable...and as I reached the threshold to their door, their two sweet cats were the welcoming committee.   And Annmarie was standing there smiling and I felt expected and welcomed.

I loved the food made from scratch...and very healthy. We started out with hearty vegetable soup that included  just about every veggie that our God created.

  Her asparagas receipe I will definitely make.....in the toaster oven with some oil and bread crumbs...and utterly delicious.  In fact, I was watching Joe in the kitchen, a real artist at work, with his wok...and the aroma was wonderful.  His two hands looked like a conductor performing  with a fine orchestra.

The slices of eggplant parmesan was also fantastic...but what was a big bonus about my meal was their cat was climbing up my leg...and it felt so good...just like a dog...a catdog!

After dinner we sat in the parlor and I looked at quite a few paintings.   This family is so talented...all I can do is admire...I'm talentless.

I looked at some paintings that were minimalized...lots of good colors and then maybe was a small shrub or a little chair.    I would not have purchased those but it was fun to look at.   I was told that these paintings were selling.

About a month ago Annmarie asked what kind of painting I would like to own of hers. I was very flattered that she wanted to put one in my house and I told her a farm....because I still watch 'The Walton's.

About 9 o'clock I said I was ready to leave because they were going to present the painting to me...so beautiful...I would never tire of  the scene.

Joe and Annmarie came over with picture, nail and hammer...and Joe found the perfect spot.

This morning when I woke up, even before going to the bathroom, I  went to the living-dining area  to view my new picture...painted for me by my good friend Annmarie.

Now I have pictures that they both gave me...and I feel very privileged and happy to own them.

I just keep looking at it.....thanks, guys!    Oh I didn't leave without a container of the soup..which I shall sup while I admire my picture in its beautiful wooden frame.

Oh Happiness...it's age-friendly here!

Spotting a ramp when you step out of your car is a sign of AGE.   I make an effort to search for an easy ramp nearby so that I would have no  need to step up or down a curb.  Never occurred to me that I would one day watch for these things.


I'm imagining what my life will be one year from now and they're not pleasant thoughts...do I sport a cane...or give over some of my independence with a walker.

I'm completely devoid of time slipping by.  When my son was young, I thought, in my fairytale  mind, that it would always be that way.

I loved all Jeff's boyhood activities...I enjoyed standing on the sideway watching him participate in the marching band and marveling at the  choreography  they were taught when  they marched, while holding a trumpet and pressing the right buttons.

Jeff marched in all the parades downtown,  and you would always find Allen and me  lining the streets watcgubg the musicians as they  marched down the street and we would always kvell.    Our Boy!

I know that tennis in our town was not a spectator sport, but I went to the games and enjoyed the back and forth volleying....and Jeff was good too, he would actually scramble for the ball.  It made me proud.

Allen and I would take Jeff to a lobster restaurant and both my men folk loved having their bibs tied around the necks. and really working with a little tool to get all that good meat out.  This was a night out on the town.

I was never an adventurous eater so I never even tasted lobster...I ordered the same old...same old.  To me the lobsters resembled big bugs.  Not so...this was a gift out of the seas.

Once a week Jeff would dress in his cub scout uniform and when it was our turn to  host, we always served cookies and milk...and made some sort of creative thing for the little boys to take home.

But the years have passed and I still can't believe that fifty years have passed since we lost our president.   Jeff was 11 years old and came home looking very somber...and we hugged each other.   Allen called on the phone and I asked him to come home.

This happened on a Friday and that night we went to Synagogue services...and most other people went to church.

Our hearts were hurting and full.

And here I sit, thinking about all these memories...and now Jeff and Donna have been married 20 years and will retire here in another year.

It makes my heart happy!   I am blessed!   Next week I will see Eric,
Becky and baby Shane.   How I'm looked forward to that.   If you were to ask me what could excite me more ...one million dollars...or seeing Shane.. no contest...my Shane...........................

My old shoemaker shop

I can go back in time.   If I try really hard, I can smell the little shoemaker shop that I went to when I was a child.

His building was just a tad bigger than an outhouse, but it was a very special place.  Was that glue I smelled or leather or what...but I loved that smell.  He always had a beautiful calendar on his wall...the only decoration.

And our shoemaker was such a kind man.  His son went to school with me  and was always dressed well, so his father must have made a decent living.

Now this was in the 30's when we just didn't go out and buy new shoes...no, we had them soled.

I never hear of anyone getting a hole in the bottom of their shoe today...but we did back in the day.

Did we walk more?  Was that it.  I remember the poor kids used to line the bottom of their shoes with cardboard.  Did we play harder? 

We got new shoes when we outgrew them....not when they wore out.

Those were the days....

blessing for a surrogate mother

the blogs: nosher / rabbis / keshet / scribe / multitudes / southern / canteen

A Blessing for a Surrogate Mother

 

9

I just had to put this in my blog

“Do you know of a prayer for a surrogate?” The question came over Facebook Chat a few nights ago, sent by a young woman in my community named Tara. In the coming days, Tara will begin carrying an embryo for a couple who were not able to conceive on their own.  For Tara, this has been a deep spiritual journey. She has two children of her own, and felt so blessed by easy and healthy pregnancies. And while cherishing her own beautiful sons, she felt overwhelmed by the deep pain and heartache that infertility causes to so many people. Tara knew she wanted to help.

In the Hebrew Bible, we meet many women who struggle with infertility. There’s Rachel, who watches her sister carry baby after baby, struggling herself to conceive her own beloved sons, Joseph and Benjamin. There’s Hannah, who is so deeply pained by her inability to bare a child, that when she prays with all of her heart, Eli the Cohen believes that her passion and her devotion is a sign of being drunk. Hannah sways back and forth, opening her mouth, and only releasing a voice that is loud enough for she herself to hear. This kavanah, or deep intention, is the model that we use for personal prayer today.

Possibly the most well known story of infertility is found in this week’s Torah portion—Vayera.  After struggling for years to conceive, Sarah is told that she and Abraham will have a child in their old age – and she laughs, and thus the child is given the name Yitzhak. Our rabbis teach that her laughter carries with it a feeling of surprise and even doubt. And yet, I prefer to focus on the essential truth that exists within big, unbridled laughter—tremendous, heartfelt, contagious joy. Sarah would finally know the extraordinary joy of being a mother.

Today, I know so many women and men who desperately want to experience that very same joy.

In just a few short days, an embryo will be implanted within Tara’s uterus, formed by a loving mother and father who are unable to create a baby without Tara’s help. And so, for Tara, I have written this blessing:

Makor HaChayim, Source of Life
= = = = == = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = == = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Inspire me to become a holy vessel, blessed with the opportunity to carry this precious seed, providing nourishment and warmth within the deep embrace of my womb.

Infuse me with patience. Through each hour of each day, may I have the strength to feel the blessing of the moment, knowing that with each breath that we share, life is closer to being renewed.

Rekindle within me courage, for in holding this seed, I am not merely making a child—I am also creating a mother and a father. I am forming a family. And within that family, a whole universe of possibility dwells.

And at this time, especially, instill within me the power and potential of love, that I may remain tender and devoted to all those who are connected to my heart.  As my body changes and grows, so may my capacity to embody love expand and unfold as well.

Our Halloween Party

What oh what can I wear to dress up for this momentous occasion.

And then it came to me.  A few days before I was looking at Becky, my niece's facebook and she went dressed like this.

They say that imitation is the best form of flattery...so you should be  flattered, Becky, and thank you.   These are 3 tap lights that light up...and I was a traffic light.

Jeff and Donna pointed me in this direction!

Friday, November 30, 2012

Jeff and Donna pointed me in this direction!

Why oh why do I write my blog???   Is it because I want to be published???     Is it because I think I have fantastic ideas???    Is it because I need to be recognized for my achievement???    Is it ego on my part?  Maybe in part of my brain I would have liked to be a writer but it never came to fruition.


I'm amazed at times how many readers spend some time reading my blog, and not just in this country

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Today I was thinking about if I had my life to live all over again...would I do things differently .

No...the answer is definitely no.   I've mostly enjoyed my life, except for the tragic stuff.   I lucked out and had a wonderful husband who was very easy to live with...and then when Jeff came along, it was a wonderful time.   

My growing up years were sandwiched between the great depression and world war 2.   Now we're saddled with another depression.

I do worry a lot about my children and my children's children and if we're using up too much of everything and there won't be enough for them.

I wonder if my grandparents worried about the same things.   Interesting thought.

I know that God is watching over us...so I'll just let HIM do the guiding and everything will turn out all right.